| more general suckitude |
[Saturday 11th Nov 2006, at 09:09pm] |
I just came back from the club where I went to study, or to use the gym, whatever, just to do something productive. After studying I sat around for a bit, lumpishly, and then this waiter tried to chat me up, or at least tried to, because I was so unresponsively into myself that I was taken aback. I need to start talking to people again and hanging out and doing all the inane social-ly people stuff, so I remember how to be human again. :/ and then. and then.
well. I feel like the most physically repellent thing I can think of, and this includes platypoda, har har har. That's kind of sad really. I mean I know I can't be as grotesque as I feel, because then blah blah and blah wouldn't casually tell me I'm pretty, unless *shock* they're slimy jerks who sneakily take advantage of an ugly girl's susceptibility to flattery. but I still feel ugly ugly ugly like a pair of Ugg boots and. I just FEEL so repulsive and I want to crawl into myself. when I walk or when I talk or when I do anything at all I just want to NOT BE LOOKED AT.
the most annoying part is that I KNOW this is ridiculous and stupid, that it's. logically. not that important.
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| further examples of how xian is pathetic |
[Saturday 11th Nov 2006, at 12:40am] |
event: and he was all like, hello? and I said hey! and then there was silence but the
really pathetic thing is:
I left this thing on all night waiting but not saying anything
then he was like goodnight after 5 hours of resolute not-talking, a goodnight from nowhere, strange, nice and frustrating.
tonight is going to be one more of those nights where I lie thinking about things instead of falling asleep, and it's like my mind is bouncing around my skull with spiked coffee, dancing compulsively.
I JUST NEED TO FIND *OUTLETS*
tell me ways to dissipate myself plz.
lawlz pun!
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| DEE GEP |
[Friday 10th Nov 2006, at 06:44pm] |
I just thought of something that I've never heard ANYONE say in the long, boring course of the neverending GEP debate - although if it doesn't end when the GEP does, I'll be pretty disappointed.
People are always saying if you take a bunch of kids at a young age and tell them they're special, they'll grow up feeling all elite fo' shizzly and be like... GET OUT OF MY UNCARING ELITIST FACE! hoho.
but the thing is. smart kids anywhere ~*average*~ will score better than average. So you'll have the whole nerd cliquey thing happening. There'll be a group of consistent high-scorers and for sure you know they're gonna think they're so smart. That is, if they're smart enough to ignore the unavoidable heckling that comes with good grades.
On the other hand, if you put them with a bunch of other obnoxious smart kids, they'll just be average, and feel normal.
like. okay. don't hate me for this. but (a few :D) people tell me I'm smart and the thing is I don't feel smart. I even identify with the ditzier side of the spectrum. Why is this, you ask me, for someone who seems to be of at least average intelligence. This is because I go to Nanyang, where you're either a hard worker with straight A's and B's, or you're intimidated by it and don't really find studying that attractive so you boot yourself off to the slacker-side. Also because my class has an abundance of merrily academic people, who fling themselves about with JOYOUS ABANDON, indulging in delinquenty things or gamergeek things but STILL. SCORE. STRAIGHT. A'S.
uh anyway the point (before I sidetracked myself) is that I feel normal because everyone around me is a smartypants.
like if you put a zebra in with a paddock of cows, it'll be weird, but put the zebras with the zebras and the cows with the cows and everyone will be happy. :) it's not like cows are missing out on anything, because being a zebra doesn't really MEAN ANYTHING TANGIBLY BETTER.
so the issue is whether that test in primary 3 is a good way of separating the cows and zebras.
:P
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| EXAM STRESS SHOWS IN COLOURQUIZ |
[Wednesday 8th Nov 2006, at 03:59pm] |
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xian took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting n..."
Click here to read the rest of the results.
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| oh my goodness HAHAHAHA |
[Wednesday 8th Nov 2006, at 01:58pm] |
At lunch, my mom stood up, doing the gracious hostess bit, and amidst the general confusion said, "coffee, coffee, tea, tea?"
It was all I could do not to finish with "or me, me? ;P"
Okay homiegrrlz, that was the teaser - the "hook". Mrs Ting would be so proud. Should I go to Malacca with my mom and her friends after the exams? They asked... and they're nice people but I'm afraid I might blow up at my mom. She has that effect on me.
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kismeteveryday's journal
